'Boobs Over Doobs'

And we are back with a bang!! Actually no..we dont get that much action also..except maybe Prat Daddy..but thats a story for a different day / time ! Before i begin this post i would request Shaggar to refrain from re-opening his tear factory and just be a man..the man with the original steel balls (not chinese balls)!

So you must all be wondering what the title of this blog post implies? Eh? Eh? No? Really? Is there really that less interest for my posts? Ok ok ill quit blogging! :( ..*goes to corner of the room and adopts foetal position*

Now it is time for the irregular news update:

Breaking news..WNJ has now expanded its expertise to also offer wedding band services. Members of the band are:
Joe Prat-riani - The eccentric Spanish Guitar humping Chicken Little maestro
Ramalingam 'Andi' Raju - The ex escort agency worker who sings like a 'cow making love to an emu'
Shaggar Conjunctivitis - The rythmless drummer king who bangs it like a bass drum

Well we have already composed the first and last song of our epic album "Who stole the Cookie from the Cookie Jar" , which can be downloaded for free by typing 'savita bhabhi' on www.munni-munni.com (Google's biggest competitors). Just to keep the excitement going, please find below the lyrics to our chart busting hit:

Conju Kingdom (Sing to the tune of 'Bonnie lies over the ocean')

My Sagar has Conjunctivitis
My Sagar has a big red eye
My Sagar has conjunctivitis
So bring out the Whisky and Rye

Bring out
oh Bring Out
oh Bring Out the Whisky and Rye
And Rye

Bring out
oh Bring Out
oh Bring Out the Whisky and Rye
And Rye (Keep repeating till everyone leaves the room cussing)

So now that we are done with the breaking news..its time to bring you the weather update

Today's forecast says that Mumbai will witness heavy showers and flooding owing to Shaggar being unable to contain himself with joy that Soup-Andi actually wrote something. So for all you sleazy people who go to Bandra Reclamation every evening for 'you know what'..please carry an umbrella or a raincoat. (This includes you Prat-Daddy)

And finally to end this news update, it is time bring up the 'Funds' segment.

WNJ is looking for philanthrophists who will willingly contribute money in order to procure the following goods for WNJ and its administrators:
- 2 Fidero hats
- Iron Man mask
- Belly lotion for Prat Daddy ( The stomach is growing again and He gets rashes sometimes)
- A Wonder woman costume for Soup-Andi
- A Nintendo Wii
- A packet of chips
- A year's supply of beer

In order to contribute to the fund please contact:
Prat Daddy - pratdaddy@imtoosexyformylegs.com
Shaggar - shaggar@gotakeahike.com
Soup Andi - andi@andisloveshack.po.in

If you do it soon you get the chance to win exclusive passes for our live show (Havent gotten any sponsors yet but will keep you'll posted about it)

So this is Soup-Andi signing off in True Supaaman style by singing 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera!

Cheerios!

CBTL Reunion

Well i hope the continents hav drifted far enough for me to come and rejuvenate this dying or actually dead blog... Its almost been a yr since our last blog... n lots has happened in each of our lives...

April SOUP-ANDI's Bday Soup-a-mann bday - Was freakin awesome... his bday was freakin a weekend long... to start off andi got caught by a cop in prateeks car, coz he was fighting wid me, wen i was on the bike at the mulund signal... pandu fined him Rs.300/- but then gav him Rs. 100/- back (birthday gift)....hehe... Paintball was amazingly fabulous, coz we shot the f**k out of each other. There was andi, prat daddy, adu, shrey, avandi, tipi, master and me. Shreya cudnt see over the short plants to shoot at ppl... master was constatly getting hit on his face... tipi got one right on her neck (turned into bad bruise) and then to top it all the last game was andi against us and we nailed him... well and after the game prat daddy was almost going to die coz had 102 fever or so... all in all an awesome day... The party was at Sudipta Aunty's place andi was turning into a soup - a - mann, so we got him a superman dress for 10 yr old kids, and believe it or not, but it fit him jus perfect... this man has got the most elaborate gifts, ppl who were there for his 21st bday wud kno... i mean it was as if ppl were getting him ready for a kinky honeymoon wid all his fantasies coming true, including him bein captured by scary goons!!! well we got some more drunk... ofcourse we ended the bday wid an After Hrs. party at Hard Rock Cafe, our hangout joint the next night... HAPPY 22nd BDAY ANDI!!!

MAY GOA - From andis ooophs to jumping thru a moving car window wid a piggy pillow... to cafe del mar and waking up every morning and drinking our way to glory till the end of night and the delicously amazing english breakfast and seafood... body surfing and playing volleyball wid a bunch of losers... and prat daddy n me doing our random stuff on the beach like bursting chests... zoozoo haircut pink bellies on prat daddy and somersaults going wrong... casa sushegado and running round the corridor or throwing balls at each other... spicy head itchin after some crazy madly spicy curry... bein more excited for our friend's bday than himself, tht we went n partied on his behalf, while he was sleeping at home... calangute beach and baga beach and getting pissed drunk at kamakazi and adu losing her ring... and the classic fat dubies... "bob marley" beach and anjuna beach meeting our school friends and as per the ritual playing volleyball and football... n jaanu its water to jaanu it painin... thts the shit to comprende all in all it was an ultimate Goa Trip!!!

JULY My Bday - It turned out to be quite as i never imagined to be... we hung out at our usual hangout, Hard Rock Cafe... it was a classic drunk affair thanks to prat daddy, andi, jiggy, morris, zam, sumi, rhea, rahul, kahir, aditya and sundi who came at 12, ralph, prakash, imran, baptist, himanshu and the other hard rock cafe staff (cant remember all name)... apart from having the honour of dancing on the parapet and dancing on YMCA wid the staff and getting an amazingly deliciously awesome plate of cream getting smashed on my face, it was so much cream had to lick it off literally... then the usual jive wid jiggy, also rhea, morris n sumi... which was fun as well... thou one moment which scandalised the f**k out of me was wen rhea came upto me and scribbled some stuff on my chest... it was a moment of glory for every guy who wud hav been in my place... and it only stays in memories!!! HAPPY 23rd BDAY SAGAR!!!

OCT Prat Daddy's Bday - Prat daddy's bday was a very adventurous and tacky affair... we had an awesome white water rafting trip to kolad... even got the chance to rescue another raft stuck right on top of a rock in a rapid....funny but crazy at the same time...there was adu, avandi, khushbu, prashant, prat daddy n me... last 5 kms were awesome, coz we had to jus float on water and flow wid the flow... Then the night was Hard Rock Cafe, as u can see a ritual... there was adu, shrey, prat daddy, andi, jiggy, khushbu, hiren uncle, morris, zam n me and the hard rock cafe staff... instead of the cream, we smashed ice cream on prat daddy's face... apparently his head went numb for a while, coz of the cold... but ahh well... there were a few turn of events as the night grew... i definitely was involved, but lets not get there... but we did end the night we some more drinking at prats place!!! HAPPY 23rd BDAY PRATEEK!!!

DEC Spark '09 - Our very own Prat Daddy broke a few records, one bein losing his beer bellie... prat daddy and me joined a b-boying and krump/hip hop at the Expression Modern Dance Company - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2KadvqpSE8... Well this has been one of the most awesomest dance classes, thanks to sumeet, dishank, pooja, shruti, anushree, udit, asra, heena and ofcourse prat daddy... well we had prat banging his against a pillar while prac in studio... thou it was bad, everyone will agree tht it was funny, well most ppl were laughing at him wen he was holding his head laid down... then the awesome asra and heena each crumpling wen doin a double handstand.. it was hilarious... and the most blown out of proportion by sonali, bein wen prat daddy apparently threw her baby sis pooja down wen doin the wiper move... ohh n the wiper move, the awesomest toughest stunt ever done in a choreography... watch the video above to kno more...ILLUMINATE THE DANCER WITHIN...hehehehe...

DEC 09 New Years - Except for andi who was drunk and bajaeeed as well and was doing usual calling ppl and telling them "I love you" wen he is drunk... prat daddy n me had it sober till after we entered the new yrs... prat daddy , adu n me picked up shrey from the airport, tht where we celebrated new yrs btw... then hit anil uncle's for hoity toity party (atle tacky)... before headin to prat daddys at around 2ish for some more drinking and hookah and the awwwwessssommmee wait for it, wait for it... ROCK SURFING & TWISTER!!! All in all a rather sober new yrs, thou andi had his captain morgans and prat daddy had his old monk and i had my JD!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR

JAN Hiren Uncle's Bday - Well apart from the word "tacky" and Rockesh Jhunjhunwala and going to prat daddys to get a ipod wire, which we never used getting pissed drunk and passing out in prat daddy's car on our way from Bandra to Bandra, I dont remember a jackshit of wat happened... thts all memory i got for tht day!!! HAPPY 50th BDAY HIREN UNCLE!!! Entertain yourselves to the poem below (to be sung on the tune of Meri Laundry ka Ek Bill from "Rock On") dedicated to Hiren Uncle

Quantum investments ka ek bill
ek financial article,
na na na na na, na na na na na
share broker ka phone number,
demat book ka ek paper,
na na na na na, na na na na na
market ka opening bell has ring,
kabhi upar ho kabhi niche swing,
pichle saat dino se market dooba
phir bhi hiren bhai in profit, yeh kaisa hai ajooba...
na na na na na, na na na na na

saare stocks ke ROI
investments ho gaye hai dry
na na na na na, na na na na na
mutual funds ke yeh returns
haath hue completely burn
na na na na na, na na na na na
saare share broker completely broke
lekin hiren bhai didnt loose the hope....
pichle saat dino se market dooba
phir bhi hiren bhai in profit, yeh kaisa hai ajooba...
na na na na na, na na na na na

- Dyu D'Cunha


As one can see a lot off ppl hav come and gone thru our lives but three of us still remain a constant and work in the "RULE of 2" reference Andiisms Chapter 1... we three are awesome together but each one of us shares an undying interest wid the other one which is unique to the two of them... confusing na... good coz only we get it...hehe ...

Since the last event each of us had got busy wid life and relationships and work and all tht JAZZ... So the three contributors of WhatNotJazz had a reunion of sorts at CBTL (for ppl who havent been keeping up wid times - Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf) the other day with jiggy, sonali and tee...It had been a while since the three of us had met probably a week or two... like met properly properly... but anyways the best part bein each of us had our own tragedies happening in recent times to tell... Starting wid me I having been born in the wrong community, hav come to tht point in my life where my parents want me to marry any jane, janie or joanna or they ask me "koi che"... Prat has had a roller coster work and relationships... poor boy is thoruoghly confused... and the best story of all Andi went to his ex-'s bday and i hav never seen him so scandalised abt it... and i hav never heard so many f**ks in one sentence from him... it was like this f**k tht f**k and f**k with f**k then f**k and f**k again f**k... but we all laughed at each other's woes and said AHH WELL...

What NotJazz is back with a Big Bang!!!

Though for the Day -

With great fondness comes great Responsibility.
- Shaggarism

So Flat..So Flat..

“When your in the zone..your in the zone!”
A “slightly messed” with hookah last night allowed me to make this desperate attempt at Pratology. Should’ve, known there is only one master “Prat Daddy” who is the holder of the light.
Having never been a blogger/ writer..it has been a while for this first post to come..looks like the juice has been found..or ive just had enough of the “touchscreen” philosophy from the other 2 contributers.. :P

As my first post, I thought it would be rather “pratilicious” to put up some less known facts about my peers and i..stuff which the world was never supposed to know and wont really give a shit about even after knowing.. so here goes..

5 fun filled facts to brighten up/ ruin your day-

Prat Daddy –

1) Prat Daddy’s “favouritest” article is “the”.
2) Prat Daddy has a history with the words “magic” and “yawn”
3) Prat Daddy did try his hand at football, once upon a time………until beer came into the picture..
4) Prat Daddy misses Sunita.. A LOT.. Suniitttttaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…cooffffeeeeeeee!!!!!!!
5) Prat Daddy likes his checked boxers a little too much for comfort..

Shaggar –

1) Shaggar is the “breaker of the Chinese balls” ..an epic story which deserves and will get a separate post..
2) One day, Shaggar will eventually realize that he is a Bawa who was just accidentally lost at birth..
3) Shaggar’s “favouritest” song in the world is “waiting for tonight” by J.Lo..im serious people!
4) Shaggar secretly wishes he had Prat Daddy’s tummy, just so he can feel the baby kicking from within..
5) One day Shaggar will own a tandem bike manufacturing unit of his own..

Soup-andi –

1) Soup –andi secretly wishes he were Austin Powers..shag-a-dellic babyyy!
2) Soup – andi once did a masterful rendition of the “The Animal Song” in his college days..to the applause and laughter of many..
3) Soup- andi has committed himself to the “straw and stirrer” philosophy of life..Reference- Pratology Chapter 1
4) Soup-andi thought he was being abducted by scary goons on a golf cart on his 21st birthday..
5) Soup-andi got chucked out of Totos for being underage!

The true and complete stories behind most of these facts will be put up shortly, for people who were not there..or people who were there and just want to relive the entire madness of it..

Cheerios!

Criticisms are NOT welcome on this blog.. Crazy fanfare is… :P

Uses of Prat-Daddy's tummy

If you hav watched RECOIL ROGUES on youtube, on wud kno wat happens if you mess wid prat-daddy's tummy ( poor andi )...I think its worth mentioning abt the uses of Prat-daddy's tummy...
- to place a beer can
- to push open a door
- to use as a soft cushion
- recoiling punching bag
- to hide in incase of calamities
- to use it as a trampoline
- to not be able to look down upon the jungle
- to use it as a pinata
- to play 'pin the tail on the donkey'
- to burst it on the New Years when the clock stikes 12
- to use it as Gong
- to rub the belly for three wishes
- to point and laugh at

prat daddys tummy has become a big part of our lives and our crazyness...we love you prat daddys tummy!!burrrrp!!!

P.S.:- the other day i placed my ear on prat-daddys tummy n i felt a KICK...isnt tht awesome....we were damn kicked abt it!!!

Just...

Well as I open this pint of ice cold beer and take a deep breath, I say to myself that I cant believe that I'm doing this..

I'm not a blogger... I'm not much of an online person... and generally dont see much point in writing on these things online...
but something about this idea just struck me as "We have to do this"...

So here I am... opening my heart and soul and experiences...

When we thought of this... this was made out to be a great big joke about "the Blog"... Everything we did had a post script of 'Damn we must write this on the blog' or 'Dude this will be soooo awesome to write on the blog'... so when I finally had the juice to make this and it came up... it was still a little unbelievable that it had happened...

Its like I called Andi in the afternoon, but the idiot was sleeping, so I called Sagar and we started discussing names for the blog... we came up with Lack Of Occupation (LOO) and What Not Jazz...
Sagar suggested that we do this later...
but I was worried that my juice would dry up and this would become one of those work under progress which never ends, like the bandra-worli sealink, or the gazzilion flyovers or World Peace...
...So we persisted and finally Andi came onto the call and we decided after full 3 minutes of discussion and 25 minutes of cursing each other, that What Not Jazz was final...
And here we all are... reading this insane banter Im having with myself...

Aaaanywaaays... will keep it posted...

May the Coors be with you...

Cheers

The 'Contributers'

Whatnotjazz was created for the sole purpose of allowing people to read, introspect and then "reach within" (pun unintended) to find their true crazy-ness with the help of the 3 contributers being the catalysts to the procedure.

Typed below is a brief introduction of the 3 philanthrophists who have made it their life's aim to help people find the light. We are not responsible for what you do with the light once we help u find it.

As you might have noticed one of the contributers types a lot... most of it being completely inane... but if you sort thru the loads of gyaan/rubbish, you might find that he's actually more of the sober and solemn types...hmmnn.... ahhh... who are we kidding...
INTRODUCING.....
Prateek (aka Prat-daddy*), "co conspyerer" and writer-less-than-extraordinare of "Whatnotjazz"... The Father of Pratology...He writes a lot and you will see a lot of his stuff on this site... dont hate him, he grows on you... :)

Next in line, INTRODUCING.. Sagar (aka Shaggar*/ Energizer Bunny)
Sagar appears to be the sanest amongst the three... however do not let that decieve you.. having grown up around some mad Bawas hes wacked beyond repair...although he does know his limits more often than not he is still man enough to not be afraid to cry when he cant cycle anymore... or falls of a cliff...

The third part of this magnificent trio is.. Anirudh (Soup-Andi* / Andi)..
Well lets just say this is the guy who sat on a duck see- saw and said 'puk-puk-pukak'...
I think it says about enough...if not please await his future random postings on "What Not Jazz".

So this is us... feel free to write to us and about us... if you know us... and from hereon we will unfold the manifold what not jazz-es that we have done over the years...

May the Doors be with you...

Cheers...
Andi, Prateek & Sagar

*watch the video along side "Recoil Rogues"

in picture from L to R: Prateek, Sagar, Anirudh

Thought for the Day

Its not very wise to puk-puk-pukak on a duck!!!